Face It Bakura A Lie's A Lie
by Funky Funky Usopp
Summary: AU: Bakura's a spirit that lives in a corney motel owned by an insane Malik and his lies get too much for every one and his mortal friend Ryou has to save his ass! plz RnR


Face It Bakura A Lie's A Lie  
  
AN: I was cleaning my soul room out when I found a video I bought last year and never got around to watching it.. The video had 3 CARTOON episodes of Beetle Juice.  
  
Rex: She's a collector of old cartoon junk..  
  
Raine: Kindly leave my Transformers videos alone.. ANY way I watched the tape and it was still as great as I remembered it! lol and since Bakura always reminded of Beetle Juice I got a GREAT bang of inspiration from the ep 'Skeletons in the closet'  
  
Rex: As you can tell from my yami's rambling this fic is AU..  
  
Raine: Yes indeed ^^ and you also know I don't own any thing I'm just Rex's yami ^^ plz RnR!  
  
Oooooh one more note! Malik's speech is like that cus in the dub it SO sounds like he has a lisp!  
  
Malik: *pouts* Do not!  
  
Rex: ¬_¬' she wont listen to reason.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Face It Bakura A Lie's A Lie  
  
"See yas Yugi!" Ryou Bakura waved to his friend as he jumped on his bike.  
  
The school was an all boys' school and Ryou had been enrolled because of two simple facts that his father had told him many times when he had acted up or complained about his situation. Those two facts were 1. Your not old enough to date girls, putting you in an all boys school will stop your. urges.. And 2. We live too far away from any mixed schools.  
  
Ryou and his father lived in a huge old house that sat on a tall hill that over looked the quite town of Domino below. And it was BORING! He would have lost his mind if it weren't for Bakura his spirit friend. Ryou smiled contentedly as he heard the Millennium ring jingle as he rode his bike down a small hill.  
  
The journey home took an average of 20 minutes that was if no wild life decided to fling themselves into the white haired boys path like that one rabbit did. Mind you Bakura had a good meal that night and he wasn't one to deny his friend something other then bugs ne?  
  
Just as his legs were getting tired he saw the welcomed site of the huge house he lived in over the tops of a few trees. He remembered once that his father told him the small wood was haunted. Ryou chuckled about the irony his father wasn't aware of, the ghosts he warned him about were in fact right under his very nose!  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Finally home Ryou opened the door and slung his school bag on the table and plonked himself down on a stole. His dad was already sorting out something for dinner but this didn't stop Ryou from grabbing an apple and munching on it.  
  
"Good day at school?" His father asked not looking away from the task of cutting onions.  
  
"I guess same as always"  
  
"That's nice"  
  
Ryou rolled his eyes at his father's lack of interest. Oh how his father would take more then a keen interest in him if he knew about his son's Egyptian spirit! Then again did Ryou want to be under 24/7 surveillance? No.  
  
"Ryou"  
  
"Yes dad?" Ryou raised an eyebrow as his father turned to stare blankly at him.  
  
"It could be my old age getting to me but, have you got an animal upstairs? I keep hearing foot steps and scathing noises.. Although they DO sound a lot like a dagger being dragged along the floor boards.." His father blinked.  
  
"Beg pardon?" Ryou's eyes widened and he almost choked on the apple he was eating.  
  
"I hope you would tell me the truth if you did have something up there. You would tell me right?" His father gave him the look that said 'Cohhh I am your father Cohhh'  
  
"Of course father!" Ryou said jumping up from his seat and grabbing his bag.  
  
"That's ok then!" His dad grinned and lost his look of dark Vader.  
  
Ryou ran up the stairs to his room all the way cursing Bakura for being a noisy sod even if he was only at the door in the shadow realm. Ok backing up a little here, Ryou's spirit friend Yami Bakura or Bakura for short was indeed a ghost. BUT when called forth from the shadow realm he had a solid being and still kept the magic he owned when in his own world. The downside for Ryou was even if he didn't call Bakura forth he was still a plan old ghost with the power to make er.. Ghostly noises.  
  
Ryou shut the door to his room and chucked his poor mistreated school bag on the floor next to his four poster bed. He shut the curtains tight and hovered around a small purple clothed table that sat neatly in the middle of his room.  
  
He raised his arms in the air and closed his eyes getting ready to chant and let the spirit into his own world.  
  
"I know I should be weary, as a venture somewhere scary, Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura, Yami Bakura!" He chanted.  
  
The room darkened and the walls where ripped away and replaced with huge stone walls and broken beams of wood as if the room was now a tower. Bats flew around as Ryou flung his arms in the air letting the ritual flow through him. His school uniform was replaced with a long dark green jacket and stripy blue and white T-shirt and normal jeans. His ring rattled a little as the ritual ended.  
  
Ryou looked around the barren room and smiled as he saw the spirit dressed in the same way he now was appear.  
  
"It'ssss Show time!" Yami Bakura bowed with a smirk.  
  
"Hay Bakura" Ryou greeted.  
  
Bakura nodded and leaned against a stone wall and put a hand in his pocket trying to find something.  
  
"So I hear chucko's been whining about me ne?"  
  
"Yes, that's something I wanted to talk to you about, could you keep it a down a little? I hate having to lie to him like that it just doesn't feel right" Ryou sighed.  
  
Bakura wrinkled his nose in applaud at his friend's pure heart and true honestly to the older mortal. He shrugged and pulled out a rat from his pocket and decided he was hungry in short he began to eat the rat and it was Ryou's turn to pull a face.  
  
"I'm not like you, I can't lie like it's a second nature, you know one day Bakura all your lies are going to catch up on you and that'll be soon" Ryou frowned and crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
"Sure whatever" He chuckled.  
  
"So who's ready for a trip to the shadow realm?" He asked and gestured to a broken and misshapen door on the other wall that led to his world.  
  
Bakura swung open the door and Ryou looked through it. The other world was a little crappy ok it was VERY crappy. It was like a desert with a few ranches here and there ok ONE ranch and that was next to a small run down motel, Bakura's home. Not the entire shadow realm was this tacky only the part that was far away from the cities.  
  
"I gotta try stay clear of Malik, I owe him rent" Bakura grumbled and whips his nose on his sleeve as he and Ryou walked down the twisted stair case that led to the roadside opposite the ranch and the motel.  
  
"Why can't you just get a job?"  
  
"I did! But how was I supposed to know that in babysitting you don't sit ON the baby?" Bakura tried to look sweet and innocent.  
  
Ryou sweatdropped.  
  
Both walked across the empty dusty road or rather Ryou walked and Bakura floated 'lazy sod' Ryou mused as he stumbled on a pothole. In the main pen of the ranch strutted a miniature red eyes black dragon it was about the same size as a jack Russell. It belonged the ranches owner, a person that Bakura loved to piss off.  
  
Bakura knelled down by the wooden fencing as the small dragon came over growling it really hated the wild haired spirit. Ryou sighed and stood by the road side and watched as Bakura's face changed from his own to that of many snakes, a demo of his power..  
  
"Hay ya stupid mutt!" Bakura taunted and got the Red eyes snaring and making an awful racket.  
  
Bakura backed up and changed his face back to normal with a cruel and wicked smirk as the owner came out.  
  
"Hay! Yami Bakura! Did you upset my red eyes?" Rex Raptor yelled as he stomped over to the two.  
  
"Me? No! Why would I do such a thing?" Bakura batted his eyelashes and put his hands together in an angelic manner.  
  
"Well who upset him?" Rex narrowed his eyes and petted his red eyes calming it down.  
  
"I have no idea I'm sure.." The spirits tone was far too charming for the brunet to comprehend.  
  
Ryou took this moment to brake it up.  
  
"Hay Rex" Ryou bowed his head politely.  
  
"Oh hay there Ryou"  
  
Rex had no problem with the sweet mortal but he could not stand it's spirit double who had often been found reading his mail from time to time in hopes of black mail.  
  
"I think we should go Bakura" Ryou said gently but ferm at the same time so the other would get the message.  
  
Bakura and Ryou walked over to the motel all the time Rex was glaring at Bakura.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
-1 star motel for spirits, fairies and other inhabitants of this realm could dwell here but the fact was it was crap. The whole building was a tacky purple colour and the huge tacky neon sign would put any one off so this motel owned by Malik was more of a home to a few people.  
  
Ryou liked this place it was like something out of a tacky movie but every one seemed friendly enough to him even Malik who sometimes was in a very cranky or very loving happy mood. Bakura grunted and sat on the dusty pink 70's style sofa.  
  
"Gonna sit or stand mortal?" Bakura teased with a smirk.  
  
"I'll stand thank you"  
  
They heard a crash from upstairs and the stamping of feet and another crash this time followed by a whoop of glee. Bakura looked to stairs with half closed eyes as he pouted from boardem. He slouched on the sofa and watched the bottom of the stairs as a blond crash-landed.  
  
"Oh my are you ok Malik?" Ryou gaped at the mess of blond hair and light purple robes on the floor.  
  
Malik sat up and shook his head with a huge grin plastered on his face as he pulled his sunglasses from his eyes to rest them on his head.  
  
"Ya I'm ok but theresss sssomething ssstrange in Yami Bakura'ssss room" He cocked his head to one side as he stood.  
  
"And ssspeacking of which Bakura you ssstill owe me casssh" The blond rested his hands on his hips.  
  
"WHAT? You've been in my ROOM?" Bakura sat bolt up right and looked mortified also ignoring the question he was asked.  
  
"That's private!" He cried out.  
  
"Well sssomething was making a terrible noissse up there! It sssounds like your hiding ssomething." He trailed off.  
  
"No!"  
  
They all blinked as they heard a faint 'Oooooooo' from Bakura's room. Just then Tea opened the door to her room and looked around with a grin. She wore a tacky small fitting red glitter costume and bo tie, Bakura shook his head as Tea sat beside him with a giggle.  
  
"Hay Yami Bakura!" She said sweetly.  
  
"Hay."  
  
"Wanna see my new dance steps?"  
  
Malik and Ryou looked at each other before searching Bakura for an answer but they didn't get one and Tea took this as a 'God yes!' so she jumped off the dead sofa and started to dance and finished with a high pitched 'TA DA!'  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
"Er.." Bakura thought back to the last time she had asked him this and he had said no, no one got any peace for three weeks since that's how long she could cry for.  
  
"Great" he lied.  
  
'Oooooooooooooooooooooo'  
  
"What was that?" Ryou was now getting a little tired of the random 'Ooooo's'' coming from Bakura's room.  
  
"N..Nothing!" He lied again.  
  
'Ooooooooahhhh'  
  
"Thisss hass to sstop!" Malik frowned and ran up the stairs to Bakura's room.  
  
Tea sat on the sofa and pouted as no one was paying attention to her any more. Bakura flew up the broken tacky blue stairs after the blond followed by a panting Ryou. Bakura burst into his room where Malik was staring dumbfounded at the closet.  
  
"Sssomeone hass Ssskeletonsss In the clossset" Malik chimed and pointed to the closet that looked like it was bursting at the seems.  
  
The closet had a huge chain around it and it was padlocked up so no one could go in and nothing could come out. Bakura eeped and pushed the blond out the way as he slammed himself up to the tacky purple object trying to force the on coming 'Oooooo's' back in.  
  
"Your hiding something Bakura!!" Ryou yelled as he caught his breath.  
  
"No I'm not!"  
  
Bang, Bang, Ooooooo  
  
"Stop lying!" Ryou was now a little frightened as the closet started to glow.  
  
"I'M NOT LYING OK?" Bakura screamed.  
  
'Ooooooooooooooooooo'  
  
The closet burst and out flew over 100 spirit like skeletons. They flew out the windows all chanting 'Ooooo' and 'Bakura told a lie!' Malik blinked as one floated in front of him and waved its arms.  
  
"Bakura lied to you! He doesn't hate you he likes you!" It said.  
  
Malik grinned and attached himself around Bakura's waist.  
  
"I knew you were my friend!" He giggled as Bakura tried to push him away.  
  
"Great real great"  
  
"What are they?" Ryou squealed as one dived past him screaming 'Bakura told a lie!'  
  
"In this world every time someone tells a lie they get one of those jerks! I guess I had so many I couldn't hide them any more!" Bakura was able to get free of a giggling Malik.  
  
"How do we get rid of them before they tell all of the shadow world your lies? And another thing. I told you so" Ryou asked and smiled as he proved a point to the other white haired teen.  
  
"Beats me!"  
  
Another skeleton appeared and pointed at Bakura.  
  
"You told another lie!"  
  
Ryou grabbed Bakura and shook him getting more frantic by the skeletons invading the whole shadow realm.  
  
"Just stop lying!" He begged.  
  
They all heard a scream from down in the lobby and again all three took off in a run down the tacky and very uneven stairs and this resulted in Malik tripping over and sliding down them again almost taking Ryou with him.  
  
Tea screamed again as a skeleton floated in front of her.  
  
"Bakura lied to you! He HATES your dance steps!"  
  
"He hates them?" her bottom lip trembled as she fell to her knees and burst into tears.  
  
"Oh great" Bakura growled from where he floated cross-legged.  
  
A ghostly bone bag flew out the window and towards the ranch where Rex was feeding his red eyes black dragon when he saw the miserable looking spectre float over to him.  
  
"Bakura lied to you! He was the one who upset your red eyes!" It said in a monotone voice.  
  
"What? Why that little." Rex growled and jumped over the fence and made his way to the motel.  
  
Back at the motel.  
  
"The only way to get rid of them isss to tell the truth" Malik chimed.  
  
"Come on Bakura you can tell the truth" Ryou looked at him with pleading eyes.  
  
"I just can't!" Bakura threw his arms up in defeat when they all heard Rex banging on the door.  
  
"Oh crap."  
  
"Look! There are hundreds of those things flying all over the shadow realm and if you don't start telling the truth you're in deep trouble!"  
  
Bakura pouted and floated upside down letting his long messy hair fall down and dangle on the floor. He really didn't know how to tell the truth.  
  
"Come on I know you can do it.. Think of something that you really care about and tell the truth about it"  
  
Bakura returned right side up and nodded.  
  
"Ok, well Ryou you're my best friend"  
  
10 skeletons burst into nothing from the truth that Bakura had admitted.  
  
"And I." He stuttered this was hard for him.  
  
"And I'm glad you're my best friend really"  
  
More burst into nothing.  
  
"I'm gl..glad we met"  
  
More become nothing.  
  
Soon all the skeletons had gone and Bakura leaned against the wall warn out from telling so much truth while Malik was trying to chase Rex away with his frying pan which indeed worked. Tea was still snivelling but no one cared.  
  
Malik looked out the window and saw the last ghoul floating towards the door to Ryou's world and his room and his house! Malik grabbed Ryou who was still blushing from what Bakura had said to the window.  
  
"I believe that oness yoursss"  
  
"Oh no!" Ryou's eyes widened as he and Bakura saw the ghoul enter the door.  
  
"I can't let that get to my father and tell him about you Bakura"  
  
Ryou ran out the motel followed by Bakura as they ran at top speed to the door. They entered Ryou's bedroom and saw the ghost leave the room and float down the hall as it chanted 'Ryou told a lie!' Bakura held back as he saw Ryou's father coming out the wash room. Ryou skipped to a halt as he noticed his father wasn't wearing his glasses.  
  
"Ryou told you a lie" The skull bag started.  
  
Ryou gulped and ran to his dad.  
  
"Huh?" The older man blinked and tried to see who was talking to him.  
  
"Oh father I just wanted to saw that I loved you" it was the best he could come up with as the ghoul disappeared with a 'pop'  
  
"I love you too Ryou" The man was confused at his sons odd behaviour and he turned to leave the boy.  
  
"Phew" Ryou grinned as he went back into his room.  
  
"Close call ne?" Bakura was floating above Ryou's bed with his eyes closed.  
  
"You should have seen your face Bakura! I have NEVER seen you so panicked" Ryou giggled.  
  
"Yeah well you were pretty funny your self!"  
  
Both laughed and talked the situation away until Ryou's dad called him down for dinner and so his room returned to normal and his school uniform returned and Bakura went back to his realm until Ryou would call him forth again.  
  
~ The End ~  
  
If you want me to do the fic where Bakura baby sitted then just say and if I get enough reviews I might just do it ^_~ 


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